Envy, Spite and Flashing Lights
by Misery Jones
Summary: Anakin's love for his master is finally being indulged. Obi-Wan is his lover, and Anakin believes that nothing can tear them apart. But when Qui-Gon is brought back from the dead, he begins to doubt Obi's love for him quite as mutual as his own. Ani-Wan
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

I warn all of you, this is a **slash** fic. If you don't like it, you do not have to read it.

I have changed the story drastically, however. This takes place around Episode III. But, Anakin did not join the Sith. Padme and Anakin were never together, but there may be hints of that couple later on. Anakin had begged Obi-Wan to love him during a late Episode II, and he eventually gave into his young padawan. However, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were previously involved before he died at the hands of Darth Maul. Now, Qui-Gon is back from the dead. Will Obi-Wan's love for Anakin hold up after such a miraculous event?

I do not own any of the Star Wars characters, or anything. Except Anakin. Oh yes, he can stay locked up in my closet. You all can have him back when I'm done, I suppose. ;D

Please read and review.  
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Anakin Skywalker stood atop the Jedi Temple, staring out over Coruscant and watching evening traffic. The ships, as they went by, put his mind somewhat at ease; watching the delicate frames of the metallic vessels skim in and out of his vision. Many things in Anakin's life tended to take this course; one moment they were there, and the next they were gone. It was a fact he was starting to understand more and more as time progressed. First, his mother to the Tusken Raiders on Tatooine, and now...

his master. To another man.

It had been a miracle, really. Master Qui-Gon Jinn, alive once more. Yes, truly a miracle, wasn't it? Anakin himself had found it rather strange. He'd stood with Obi-Wan the night the burning of Qui-Gon's corpse took place. He'd been there. He'd seen the old man burn down to nothing but ashes, and yet he was now somehow _alive_. From Anakin's understanding of the situation, the ceremony had been staged. The jedi council had preserved the body, just to be safe. Qui-Gon had been a major member of the jedi order, and if there was any possibility, any at all that they could salvage his soul from the Force, they would have to take it. And so here they were now. Qui-Gon Jinn was alive and kicking once more.

Really, Anakin shouldn't have minded. And he wouldn't have, if Obi-Wan wasn't making it so difficult for him not to despise the older jedi master. It seems the two-as master and padawan- had been involved. And they'd managed quite remarkably to keep their little secret from the council. However, Obi-Wan was _Anakin's_ lover now. His and only _his_. ...Wasn't he? He wouldn't leave him for Qui-Gon now, would he? Surely after all these years-10 Force forsaken years- such a love would have died?

Anakin was starting to have his doubts.

The two were spending more time together now.

They took missions together, would do anything to be alone together, it seemed.

And now, Anakin was sick and tired of it. Snapping back to reality, the young jedi once again took in the world of Coruscant stretched out before him. The sun had almost finished its journey across the horizon, painting the sun a brilliant orange with highlights of scarlet here and there. Really, it was a beautiful sight. However, Anakin found his appreciation for such trivialities dwindling with each passing day. Nothing was beautiful without his master by his side. What did this gorgeous sunset mean, without his beloved master there to share it with him? ...Nothing. Not anymore.

Anakin took in a deep breath, before making his way back down into the Jedi Temple. Suddenly, he felt a sort of fatigue wash over him. All he wanted to do now was get some rest. The thoughts that plagued his mind were exhausting him to no end. Surely, he was being overdramatic. Surely, Obi-Wan wouldn't leave him. How could he, after all they'd been through together? This thought comforted Anakin somewhat as he made his way back to his quarters. However, he stopped in mid stride as he ran into the very person that had been on his mind so feverently.

"Master, I've been meaning to speak with you." Anakin spoke up, taking in the older man before him. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous as always. Shorter than Anakin, but the jedi himself found it rather... cute. That perfect face, those glittering blue eyes... they never failed to bring a slight smile to his face.

"What is it, Anakin?" the jedi master's tone sounded slightly impatient. This tone alone was enough to wipe the smile off of Anakin's face. "I apologize, I didn't know you were busy with something else. It can wait." he diverted his gaze away from his master's now seemingly cold eyes.

The fact that Obi-Wan didn't hesitate to nod and walk off sort of brought down Anakin's barely acquired good spirits. Yes, he understood that the other was busy, but... did he not have the time to at least converse with him a moment?

Apparently not.

Anakin quickly moved back to his room, stripping off most of his jedi garb before laying in bed and closing his eyes. Tomorrow would be better. He would finally get a word in with Obi-Wan and figure out just what was going on. All he could do now, was clear his head of any troubling thoughts and let slumber take him.

Only with that slumber, would come vicious nightmares set loose to consume his mind.

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Author's Note:

Har har! You will have to review, if you wish to know what happens next. Please, please review. And, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. This is not including well good-hearted criticism. I want at least 3 reviews before I start writing the next chapter. :3


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

We're back! :D Read, and enjoy. And review!

Again, if you don't like, you don't have to read it.  
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"_Master! Master, please... don't leave... please..." Anakin was on his knees before his master, clutching onto his robe. He looked up at Obi-Wan with a tear stained face, the hot tears still falling endlessly. Obi-Wan looked down at his young apprentice sadly, touching the younger one's hair. "I'm sorry, Ani..." he spoke softly, giving Anakin the sweetest look of pity as he pried his hands from his robes. Anakin was forced to watch as Obi-Wan took Master Jinn's hand, leading him away from the now trembling apprentice. Who, wrapped his arms around himself. His insides hurt, his __**heart **__hurt. There was never a time, not in his entire life, where Anakin had felt so alone._

Anakin awoke with a start just then, sitting up. He buried his face in his hands, and felt now that the tears had not just been in his dreams. He wiped them away quickly, making an attempt to catch his breath and compose himself. Just what had _happened? _Well... It had just been a nightmare. But for Anakin, a nightmare was never just a nightmare. It was a vision. A vision of the future. And the fact that Obi-Wan was going to leave him... made him sick to his stomach. However, what shook him almost as much was how truly _pathetic_ he'd looked. Crying his little eyes out, clinging to his master so. It was not proper, it was not _him. _But then again, he could not live without Obi-Wan. He was so in _love_ with him, he thought, maybe even enough to degrade himself to such a level.

Anakin got up, going to the washroom and splashing his face with cold water. This awakened him considerably. He cupped some of the water in his hands and drank it down to soothe his burning throat. He'd probably been talking in his sleep, sobbing even. He'd hear about it later, this he was sure of. He looked up to the mirror- to his reflection. He'd turned so pale. But oh did he feel sick. Usually, Obi-Wan would tend to him when he felt this way; stroke his hair affectionately and take out the tangles Anakin himself had no time to tend to, tell him how he would need it cut sooner or later. ...Oh, how he missed that.

An exasperated sigh escaped the young jedi as he returned to bed. The pain was coming too early. Maybe, for once, his dreams were wrong. Maybe this was a warning: That Master Jinn would steal Obi-Wan away from him. Anakin did remember Qui-Gon well enough, however, and he did not seem like the man to do such a thing. He was a good man, honest, strong, and wise. And as much as this redeemed him, in the same way it did not. There was no way, no way in all of the universe, that Anakin would allow this to happen. Obi-Wan belonged to him, and it would always stay this way.

Soon, the apprentice grew restless and rose from bed once more. Walking to the window, he stared out into the night. Though it had to be quite early in the morning, the city was still filled with life. The amount of ships he'd seen earlier only having decreased slightly. But at this point, he needed a tad more than a simple distraction to calm him. Then, Anakin thought of going to see his master, maybe say that there was something troubling him. But then again, no. That was like a child, crying to his mother in the middle of the night because of a mere nightmare.

But... still.

Stepping out from his room, wearing nothing but his leggings, he set off down the hall. His lover's room wasn't far, else he'd probably have taken the time to put on some proper clothing. He stopped once he was outside of Obi-Wan's room. What now? Anakin drew in a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. The older man's essence was overwhelming, and it made the young jedi shiver. He could sense him there... asleep. Though naturally he could not tell what he was dreaming, he could tell that his master was calm; serene even. Should he really disturb him? Should he really bother him in the dead of night about something that was really, probably nothing? No he shouldn't. Anakin was finding more and more that his fears were petty. It was most likely that when one came back from the dead, you wanted to spend as much time with them as possible before the Force took them away once again. Really, if it had been Senator Amidala who'd died and then came back to life, would he not want to see her? But, he did suppose that was different. In many ways. He'd never been involved with Padme. Rejected by her, yes. Anakin felt a pang of sorrow within him, that quickly faded. He had someone else now, the most wonderful man he'd ever met. At this, he smiled, quite unable to help himself.

It caught him off guard when that wonderful man stepped through the door, wearing proper night clothes himself. His master looked quite tired-and really he should have, it was three in the morning after all. His tired blue eyes looked upon his former padawan curiously. "What troubles you Anakin? I could sense you outside of my room..."

Anakin's smile faded quickly. "I... Nothing master, I just... wished to see you." In his words, only half a lie resided. "This early?" Obi-Wan questioned, a look of suspicion crossing his features. "Yes..." Anakin looked away. "I don't know what I was thinking, I'll leave you be." He then turned to leave, making an attempt to hide his blush of embarrassment. "Ani..." Obi-Wan called after him.

At hearing this, Anakin stopped. He loved it when Obi-Wan used his pet name. Anyone else, and the young apprentice might have commented. It was only his master who was allowed to call him by that name. Turning back to face the other, he spoke. "Master, may I lay with you?" he asked. Obi-Wan looked a tad taken aback, but was not going to deny his apprentice's request, and nodded. Anakin followed him back into the room. Most of the rooms in the Jedi Temple were identical; very small with nothing but a window and a bed. After all, Jedi were not allowed to have possessions. So they didn't need much room. Obi-Wan slipped beneath the already rumpled bedding, making room for the other. Anakin looked upon his master a moment before joining him. It was sort of a cramped space, for the bed was only meant for one person. But as Anakin pulled Obi-Wan into his embrace, he found it was a tad more comfortable. "...I've missed you." He spoke up finally. "And I you, Anakin." The master replied, shifting in his apprentice's hold. "I've just been quite busy with everything that has happened. It's truly a miracle that Master Jinn has returned to us."

Why did everyone keep saying that? That it was a 'miracle'. Yes, he supposed it might have been. But maybe his subconscious jealousy was making him sceptical. "Yes, master, I understand." Was all Anakin was going to say on the subject. As much as he did wish to speak of it, at the same time he didn't. It may have been the reason he'd come to see Obi-Wan, but now that he had him in his arms... none of it mattered. With this thought, Anakin graced the other's lips with a kiss. A kiss which his master could not refuse, returning the apprentice's affections. It hadn't crossed Anakin's mind that he might have been rejected. Not until after he was biting at the other's lower lip softly, requesting entrance. At least everything seemed to be fine. Normal, even. No reluctance on Obi-Wan's part.

Things were getting quite heated quite quickly. After awhile of exploring his master's mouth, he carefully began to pull at Obi-Wan's clothes. However, the reaction Anakin expected soon came into play. Pulling away, Obi-Wan spoke. "Not tonight, Ani." Usually, Anakin would have protested and whined, but... there was something in the other's tone that told him not to persist. So, he didn't, only pulling his beloved close once again. "You tease me, master." he spoke as he kissed his forehead, trying to lighten the mood that the other's tone had brought upon the moment. "No such thing, Anakin." Obi-Wan replied, smiling slightly.

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Author's Note:

:3 Everything's fine, see? But... for how long? Review, please~.


	3. Chapter 3

Another chapter up! Read and enjoy. AND, review.  
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It was the very next morning at breakfast when Anakin's perfect image of his master began to blur. They'd sat down at their usual table together, their breakfast already set in place. It consisted of eggs, toast, the usual. The meals served at the Jedi temple were always quite simple, despite how simple their lives were not. Despite all of the excitement Jedi experienced, their life styles were hardly what one might call 'exciting'. But maybe that was the point. You didn't need material luxuries to live life to its fullest. Well, that was one of the many things that Obi-Wan Kenobi had lectured Anakin Skywalker on in all his years of training under him. And it was something the young jedi had complained about bitterly. However, it wasn't so much the material possessions that bothered him,-though it could be a pain- as much as it was the fact that Jedi could not love. In some form, were love and compassion not the same thing? Well, it is not as though it mattered. He and Obi-Wan were very much in love. And they would be together forever.

...Wouldn't they?

Anakin sat over his plain meal, his prosthetic hand entangled in his dirty blond locks and the other hand on his fork as he gradually picked the food apart. Yes, he did have quite an appetite that morning and was looking forward to getting some actual nourishment. With his thoughts and feelings recently, he'd not been able to stomach much. Then, Obi-Wan spoke up. He sort of hesitated before speaking, looking over his young apprentice carefully. "Anakin, I should tell you something."

Anakin tensed somewhat at these words, his grip tightening on his fork. "What's that, master?" he replied, glancing to the other. He did not offer up any evidence of the paranoia he'd been feeling recently. In fact, he'd more or less expected master's next words. "I'm afraid that..." he paused a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I have not been entirely truthful with you." he looked at his former padawan, trying to read his expression. Anakin sat up properly, swallowing hard. He supposed, he'd not, in truth, been expecting it quite yet. "What do you mean, master?" "I mean that with everything that has happened with Master Jinn, I... do not know how I feel any longer."

At this, Anakin took in a sharp breath. What _was_ Obi-Wan trying to say? Was he truly going to leave him? After everything, after the night prior even? His master spoke once again. "Do not take this the wrong way, Anakin... When I say-" he paused, looking around himself cautiously. "When I say I love you, I do mean it. Do not think for a second that I have lied to you." Anakin lost his appetite then, looking away. "Please, master, make your point." Obi-Wan went on. "With everything that has happened," he repeated, "I fear I may need some space."

...Space? Anakin was dumbstruck. Surely his master could come up with a much better wording than 'space'. Maybe 'I'm leaving you. I don't love you anymore. I love Qui-Gon.' would have sufficed. "Master, please explain this to me. You owe me that atleast." Anakin once again looked to his master, his expression slightly cold. Taken aback, the Jedi master thought on his words once more before speaking. "You have to understand, Ani, that this is a very confusing time for me. Master Jinn was formerly the love of my life. Losing him was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Now that he has returned from the essence of the Force, you can understand how much this has confused me."

Anakin's eyes were in a downcast. He thought on this for a moment. Was Obi-Wan not considering him in all of this? What about _his own_ confusion? But, nonetheless, he composed himself before placing a hand over the other's affectionately. "Master, I love you, more than anything. And I will give you as much time as you need." A sort of pitiful grimace graced Obi-Wan's features for naught but a moment. "I thank you, Anakin."

It was then that the young apprentice stood, bowing to his master before moving quickly out of the room. He wanted to scream. No, he wanted to die. What was his master thinking? Was he trying to spare his feelings? There was no need, Anakin had seen this coming light years away. His master, his dear master, was going to leave him for another man. And in his distraught, Anakin ran right into this other man, his face colliding with Qui-Gon Jinn's shoulder. Anakin moved back, looking up at the older man. It was sort of nostalgic in a way. Master Jinn looked exactly the same as he did all those years ago back on Tatooine. Even being so young, Anakin could still remember quite clearly. Oh, he could remember Obi-Wan as a padawan as well. The thought made him shiver a little. However, at the moment he did not want his thoughts to linger on his beloved master. Qui-Gon had been very good looking as well, and still was. This was something Anakin could not deny. The long, slightly greying hair, beard and kind blue eyes were something he could relate with finding attractive. But, Anakin still found Obi-Wan's beard much more... for lack of a better term, sexy.

"Master..." Anakin spoke, bowing to the other. "Forgive me, I did not see you there." If he'd not been "minding his feelings", as Obi-Wan frequently told him to do, his actual words towards the other might not have been so courteous. "It's quite alright, Anakin." Qui-Gon spoke, stepping back to take a look at the younger before him. "My, you've grown since the last time we met. And no doubt, you've become a fantastic jedi as I've heard." he commented, a warm grin pulling at his lips. "Yes. And you haven't changed in the slightest. It's good to see you again." Anakin replied, going along with Jinn's pleasantries. He had no reason to be hostile towards the elder man. He'd done nothing wrong, nothing but come back from the dead and steal Anakin's one and only love right out from under him. [pun intended] However much bitterness he felt towards Qui-Gon, he would hide as best as he could manage. "It truly was good speaking to you once more Master Jinn, but please I hope that you'll excuse me." "Of course, Ani."

A spark of anger flowed through Anakin then. Especially Master Jinn, the bane of any love the young Jedi had come to experience within his life, had the nerve to call him "Ani". It was only Obi-Wan who could call him by that name, only him! But... not anymore. As Anakin moved around his own master's former master, he quickly made his way back to his bedroom, thoughts of his heartache running through his head like blood. How did _he _know that it was his pet name anyways? Had he come up with it on his own, or had Obi-Wan been speaking of him? If so, what had he been saying? Was he speaking ill of him, or good? Was Qui-Gon aware? Was this some scheme the two of them had come up with to hurt him? So many questions, and no answers. Though thinking about it, near to none of his conclusions were something he could see Obi-Wan doing to him. He knew him better than that, didn't he?

Once he was in the privacy of his own quarters, he stopped. His hands went to his head, pressing on his temples. Oh, how he just wanted to sleep. Just wanted to forget. Anakin lay down on his bed, above the covers. His fingers twisted in the pristine linen. His head hurt, and his heart hurt. Really, he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what would make the pain go away.

Oh, but there was one thing. Anakin glanced down, eyeing the lightsabre on his hip. He took the hilt in his hands, turning it over. For a moment, he brought the laser blade out, examining the brilliant blue sheen. Then, he brought it down, dangerously close to his flesh coated arm. It would make the pain go away. He just had to be careful not to sever his other arm. The burning sensation on his flesh, the charred smell...

No.

Anakin sheathed the blade again, dropping the hilt on the ground. What _was_ this? What was he trying to do? To prove? What Obi-Wan had said to him that morning didn't mean the end of the universe. It didn't exactly mean he'd stopped loving him either. It didn't even mean they wouldn't be together in the end. But could he really blame himself for having his doubts? He held a pillow over his head in an attempt to silence the thoughts pounding through his mind. It didn't mean anything. He would give his master the time he'd requested, and it was all he could do. If Anakin really loved him, he would have to. It was the only answer.

Just then, there was a voice from outside the door. "Anakin?" No rest for the wicked, not today "It's time for you to come to training." It was Obi-Wan, of course. For a moment, he considered telling the other he was ill. But his master knew him better than that and would most likely figure he was lying. However, at the moment all he wanted was just to be alone. "Yes master, I'll be there in a moment." He called, getting up from the bed. Everything was going to be fine. And as long as he kept telling himself that, it would be. Though his confidence in his lover had indeed been shaken, it would not wane completely. But, perhaps this was for the best. After all, as a wise man had once said, maybe it was time to...

let go, of everything that he was afraid to lose.

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Ani's feelings are all muddled up. D: There's a battle going on in his mind between reason and conclusion. And, reason is so far winning, thank god. What're we going to do? Review, please.


	4. Chapter 4

It took me awhile to get this chapter up, my apologies. Yes, it's shorter, but you'll see why. I do hope you like it anyways. Enjoy.  
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"Concentrate, Anakin."

It was a week later from that morning, just another ordinary day in the Jedi Temple of rigorous training, and the like. The two had taken up a training room. Though Anakin was Obi-Wan's partner more than anything, they still worked together to keep their skills intact. It didn't help, however, that Obi-Wan was continuously scrutinizing his every move. "Can you not see that I am trying?" Anakin snapped, looking back at his master and narrowing his eyes.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but sigh, running a hand through his hair before letting it fall to his side.. "Anakin, mind your feelings."

Oh, he couldn't stand it. No, he would _not_ mind his feelings. With all of the confusion he'd been feeling lately... could he not at least, for once, indulge his feelings? He felt as though he was about to burst. Turning to his master, he spoke up once more, though not before choosing his words carefully. "Master, I find this tedious. I believe I am not concentrating, because practice with the Force is beneath me. I want something more challenging." "...My young friend, you have much to learn still. Though you think yourself superior, practice is always necessary, even for the greatest of jedi." Of course. His young "_friend"_. Then again, what else was Obi-Wan supposed to say; his young "_ex-lover"_? Oh, but Anakin was lucky to even be that, wasn't that right? "Yes yes master, I've heard this a thousand times." He rolled his eyes. "Can we please practice something else?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "You never listen to me, Anakin. You push my teachings aside, as if they will never be useful to you. You are very wrong." At the look he received from his young apprentice then, he added on. "Yes. We will practice combat now. Draw your light sabre." Obi-Wan shed his cloak, taking his lightsabre from his belt. Anakin followed suit, bringing the laser blade from its hilt before giving the first overhead strike.

When in battle with his master, Anakin always held back. Not by much, but just enough so he knew he wouldn't hurt him. It was something he'd started ever since they'd become involved, and something he'd hidden well. Only because, Anakin could never forgive himself if he ever hurt his dear Obi-Wan. But now, there was something pushing him forward; all of the energy of his emotions that he'd kept bottled up: jealousy, hate, sadness, and every other little feeling he'd been unable to show. Yes, all of these natural emotions were filtering into something else now... One, powerful feeling. And that, was anger.

Anakin slashed away at his master, trying to get past his blocks. Obi-Wan didn't pick up on it at first, only finding a pattern in Anakin's technique and falling into defence. Anakin struck from above, Obi-Wan blocked. Anakin turned and stabbed from the side, and Obi-Wan blocked. "Anakin..." Obi-Wan blocked another one of his apprentice's strikes. But it only continued as he struck from every which way, as if his master were a Sith Lord. "Anakin, mind your feelings!"

The young jedi wasn't listening any longer. His anger, his _hatred_... they were both overcoming him. Yes, it was Obi-Wan's words to him a week prior among other things that were adding up; the frustration that his nightmares were slowly becoming reality and he didn't know how to stop it. First, his mother, now the love of his life? No, he wouldn't stand for it!

That was when it happened.

Something that Anakin would forever regret.

When Obi-Wan jumped back to make an attempt at an offensive strike, Anakin slammed the other into the wall with the force. Expecting has master to get back up, he waited. But as Obi-Wan fell and hit the floor, he didn't move.

Anakin felt his anger slip away as panic took its place. He dropped the hilt of his sabre, rushing to Obi-Wan's side and kneeling by him. His breathing still heavy from exertion, he brought the other into his arms, looking down at him.

"Anakin, what have you done?"

Qui-Gon Jinn stood behind him, looking down at the scene in awe. How much he'd seen, was beyond Anakin. In the heat of battle, he'd not heard the door open nor had he sensed the other's presence. Anakin wanted to speak, to defend himself. But his voice was lost to him as his gaze fell back upon his beloved master. That beautiful face, all expression wiped from it. It was too much for the young jedi to bear. Hiding his feelings having never being one of Anakin's strengths, he buried his face away in Obi-Wan's shoulder and tightened his grip on him.

Because despite the darkness of his deed, letting Master Jinn see him cry was one of the worst things he could have done.  
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Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Some of you thought that my last chapter was the end of the story. Def' not. That's the reason I wrote this next chapter. It did take awhile, and I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

Please enjoy.  
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Anakin stood by the window, once again taking a moment to look upon the horizon that stretched out before the Jedi Temple. This time, however, the sun was rising in the sky. The young Jedi had risen early that morning. However, with the passing of the night, he wasn't sure if he'd even slept at all. All of his thoughts were on Obi-Wan. More so than usual, he supposed. He wondered how his master was feeling now, both emotionally and physically. Yet, he couldn't gather the courage to go to the infirmary and face his master. He just hoped... that Obi-Wan could forgive him. But he didn't really expect his master to understand. Because now, he wasn't sure he understood himself. He'd allowed his emotions to take hold of him, and influence his actions. This was not at all the way of the Jedi, and he should have felt very ashamed.

Though Anakin's feelings of shame were only directed to the harm he'd caused Obi-Wan. Not, to the actual deed itself. If he'd been training with anyone else, he could not honestly say he would be stricken with the same grief he felt now. Mild disappointment in himself, perhaps. But nothing past that. That fact in itself sort of troubled him.

His thoughts were interrupted then as Qui-Gon entered the room. The man looked tired, and Anakin could only guess that he'd been up all night, and most likely by Obi-Wan's side. Pushing such bitter thoughts out of his mind for the moment, he spoke up. "How is he?"

Qui-Gon looked to Anakin, pausing a moment before speaking. "He will live. There was not too much damage done. You don't need to worry."

Anakin narrowed his eyes, turning back to look out the window. How could he not worry about his dear master? He'd never, ever hurt the other man in such a way before. Anakin felt a hand on his shoulder then, and glanced back at Qui-Gon. The older man spoke: "Obi-Wan is a lot stronger than that. After all, it was only an accident."

Anakin considered this, biting his lip and nodding. He was tempted to move away from Qui-Gon's touch, but was not quite bitter enough to show someone who was attempting to reach out to him such disrespect. Then, Qui-Gon spoke again. "Perhaps you should go see him."

Now, the young Jedi had to considered this as well. He supposed it was time. He also supposed he should have gone a lot earlier than he was choosing to, if he really wanted to show he cared about Obi-Wan. "I will." Anakin spoke shortly, before turning and walking from the room. Once he was out of Qui-Gon's sight, he broke into a run, his cloak lifting from the change in pace. He was growing tired of avoiding his problems with his master. Now, he would face them head on.

The infirmary was on the other side of the Jedi Temple, but it didn't take Anakin long at all to get there. Even before he laid eyes on the large metallic door, he could already feel Obi-Wan's presence. It burned him from the inside with every breath he took, like the sensation of inhaling a very strong perfume. Moving into the room carefully, he looked around for his master. As unnecessary as this was. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan was laying in a bed near the back left side of the room, sound asleep. He thought for a moment on returning when his former lover was awake, but he thought again. At least he would have some time to be near the man, and be near that familiar burning essence for awhile before he was forced to explain himself.

Sitting by Obi-Wan's bedside, Anakin looked upon the other. There wasn't much evident damage, save for the lack of color in his master's face. Any harm he might have caused the other was hidden beneath the blankets. He found himself curious. How bad was it really? What Master Jinn had told him had not given him much, if any, consolence. But the old man had been right about one thing. He had to stop this constant worrying. Obi-Wan... if, he truly cared any longer, would most likely not wish it of him.

And as if his very thoughts were being spoken aloud, it was then that Obi-Wan began to stir. Anakin sat back, watching, as if the slightest move he made might harm the other again. It took a moment or two for his master's pale blue eyes to flutter open, and it took even longer for him to make an attempt to sit up. However, it didn't take long at all for Anakin to try and assist him, gently laying a hand on the other's back. "You probably shouldn't be trying to move just yet, master." he spoke softly, his tone trying to mimic the care and love that he had for the other.

"I'm fine, Anakin, really." Obi-Wan replied, numb to this attempt at affection. He crossed his arms over his chest once he was in a steady sitting position. "In fact, I'm feeling much better."

"I'm glad to hear that, my master..." Anakin replied, trying carefully to find his next words. He might as well cut to the chase. "...I feel that I must apologize to you, Obi-Wan. I lost control of my emotions, which therefore influenced my actions. It was very childish of me, and I want you to know that I am sorry." he caught Obi-Wan's gaze a moment before looking down, lacing his hands together almost nervously. Obi-Wan spoke then. "I accept your apology, Anakin, and believe me when I say that I appreciate you taking responsibility for your actions. You are growing up. However, you need more discipline. I understand that your training began at an awkward age, but this is no excuse for how you acted. You should know, Anakin, that a Jedi never allows their anger, or... hatred, to overcome them. This, is the way of the dark side."

Anakin was nearly in awe. He didn't know exactly what he'd been afraid of hearing from his master, but this was most likely it; the mention of the dark side. "I can't believe you would say that." Well, that wasn't entirely true. Perhaps he'd been expecting it all along. "I... I would never..." he took a breath, and collected his thoughts. "I never thought that I was capable of doing anything to hurt you. I was wrong. But please, master... I only ask that..." he met the other's eyes once again, this time not looking away. "That you don't give up on me. I don't want you, or anyone comparing me to the dark side."

Obi-Wan sat back, and stroked his beard a moment. "Ani, listen to me." It was rare that the older man ever used Anakin's pet name. It was usually only during tender moments, or when he was trying to comfort his young partner. It gave Anakin a slight feeling of hope. "I do not compare you to the dark side as you might think. I am very proud of you. I am only telling you, that this is what I see. This is what your actions are a sign of. I don't believe, not for a second, that you would ever turn on me. You're strong, and very intelligent. Do not let any bitter thought or feeling tell you differently." he paused, and took a breath. "I do forgive you. I am only saying, that you need to be careful."

Anakin nodded, slowly, taking everything in. "Yes master. Again, I'm very sorry." he stood up, turning to leave. That air was now most certainly clear; but not quite comfortable. "I'll continue training on my own, until you recover."

"Anakin, wait." Obi-Wan said, his eyes on Anakin still.

"Yes, master?" Anakin turned, looking back at the other.

"There is something else on your mind."

"Yes, there is, but master..." he protested.

"No, come sit."

Anakin had no choice but to do what he was told, sitting by his master's bedside.

"I think it only fair that I explain things to you."

Now, this was as Anakin feared. This was also something Anakin desperately didn't want to talk about. Because at the moment, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know that Obi-Wan didn't love him anymore. Or, that he loved Qui-Gon more than he ever could love Anakin. Right now, he just didn't want to hear it. But he braced himself and waited for the other to speak.

"Anakin, you know I love you."

Anakin was tempted to respond with 'Do I?' but, didn't want this to turn into an argument.

"Please don't think otherwise. I do love you, with all my heart. You are my brother, and my dearest friend. I only wish for your happiness."

And that was it. That was all Anakin needed to know. He stood up once again.

"Master, I know. I saw this coming." he spoke, choking back any emotion building up within him. "And I respect your decision, even though I do not understand it." he paused. " As I said, I will train on my own until you recover, that is, if you still wish to train me." Now he knew he was being irrational. But it didn't matter. Not right now. He then bowed politely before turning and moving from the room.

And as he spoke his next words, he only hoped his anticipated tears weren't obvious on his voice.

"I hope you are very happy with him."

It was only then that he could walk from his master, with all of the dignity he had prophesized he would lose.

* * *

If you'd like more, please review. c:


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